[my last letter to trudy. after this, she told a mutual acquaintance that i was part of a cult and refused to speak to me further]

trudy, i am not angry with you. i was....oh was i ever! but i found the ability to let it go. i am sorry if this morning i was short with you - i had just woken up to all of this and was tremendously shocked and hurt.

i understand that you feel differently about the family. our family is Anglican Catholic, and even though i do imagine that Adia's relatives may face repercussions from the Lord, i cannot judge or try to force that. it would only fill me with hatred if i wished it on them, and hatred and anger should never be a part of something that is supposed to bring good in the world. also, studying Hinduism has helped me strive to be more non-judgemental and love the small part in everyone (even ifd it is hidden) that is a part of God. so i stand by all of that. i WOULD like to see them punished for what they HAVE done to Adia, though. i explained to the doctor at Lotus and he said it was not unusual here. he didn't seem too concerned which shocked me, i was hoping he would get ahold of authorities (in the States, i think doctors are obligated to do so).

do you really think it would be helpful to fill out a police report? i never tried it again because, well, to be honest i have no faith at this point in most Indian institutions. i've never really beeen able to get 'authorities' to do much of anything for me. [i was unable to get a police report after a robbery and assault] also, i don't even know if a police report would bring results, or they would just shove it in a drawer somewhere. if you think or have heard that it would be helpful though, i will by all means try it.

now, the important thing: Adia is doing very well!!! we got her labs back today and she tested negative for all diseases. her iron is low, there is something (i'm not quite sure what this means) wrong with her hemoglobin, and she is lactose intolerant. that could explain a lot of why she is so malnourished - the family gave her cow's milk when they gave her anything at all - that would cause diahrrea, which taxes her system further.

i spent most of the day with her and her three relatives (mum, grandmum, and youngest sister) - and i'm no longer so worried about them taking her away again! they were wary last night and i and the doctors had to coax them to let her stay, but it seems they've grown to rather like staying with her in the hospital - air con, teevee, nice plush beds, three meals....they'll probably stay as long as they can to enjoy those things! at least let us hope - maybe for once their greed will work FOR us instead of againt.

Adia's physical progress is astonishing. i cannot believe how well this dear girl responds to the slightest bit of treatment! she was able to sit with her spine erect today (she needs to be steadied, but that is still an immense improvement from before!) and her physical therepist has the nurse doing little 'sit-ups' with her; pulling her arms gently so she can try to raise herself to a sitting position. she does them eagerly and well! her overall aspect was much, much improved - even better than during her prior hospital visit. she is no longer listless - she could even work up a LOUD cry when the doctor gave her an X-ray!! it was the most beautiful cry i've ever heard, right next to the one when my daughter was born. it was a cry of hope.

i am entirely covinced that i have been guided to help Adia because she is meant to do something beautiful and important in the world - the way she has overcome so many things in her small life is nothing short of a miracle.

anyway, despite whatever has happened between us you have helped me somewhat by putting into my mind that i need to be very careful of keeping good records. despite what you believe - my intentions are only good and i don't want anything technical to mess up the work i try to do. when i co-headed the arts NGO, my partner at the time was wealthy - he had an accountant and a lawyer handle everything financial, and too there was much less accountability involved. so i was sort of behacing like i did then as far as records - jotting things downin a notebook and such, stupidly thinking that should suffice. when we become a real NGO, i wil have to keep MUCH better track. so thank you for making that clear to me.

trudy, i won't take up mroe of your time. i was mostly just writing to you because i felt like i had to defend myself because i was hurt. what you said attacked something so close to my heart - and already this has brought my life a great deal of stress. it felt like you were belittling what i have done and saying i was trying to do evil where i am giving everything i have (financially, spiritually, time-wise, etc) to do good. i guess i could not stand the idea that you would think that without trying to tell you what is true. it still does hurt me - but i guess i have to accept that you are entitled to your opinion.

may you and yours be well.

love,
nutmeg