in conclusion, i ask again:
if a stranger online told you that they had someone who could help a child you knew
and said they could be trusted because they were 'humanitarian of the year'
and they would not tell you who the person or people were
but told you to go to a place where they would 'see you from afar' and 'recognize you'
and that you were to turn over that child to them, what would you do?
if you went to the place they stated, but without the child, and no-one at that place had ever heard of you, what would you think?
this person has now accused me of criminal fraud and hideous evil. i would, for one, at least like to know who her 'contacts' were, why a rational meeting or exchange was ever facilitated, and why no-one was there to meet me.
if anyone wants the (removed) names of the people i spoke to at Niloufer to verify any of my statements, please privately comment at adiasauntys@gmail.com
there is much information here (and i apologise for its being in reverse order) - but before accusing any party of anything, i would request that everyone carefully read and weigh every word of what transpired, and use this as a basis for their decisions.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
[my last letter to trudy. after this, she told a mutual acquaintance that i was part of a cult and refused to speak to me further]
trudy, i am not angry with you. i was....oh was i ever! but i found the ability to let it go. i am sorry if this morning i was short with you - i had just woken up to all of this and was tremendously shocked and hurt.
i understand that you feel differently about the family. our family is Anglican Catholic, and even though i do imagine that Adia's relatives may face repercussions from the Lord, i cannot judge or try to force that. it would only fill me with hatred if i wished it on them, and hatred and anger should never be a part of something that is supposed to bring good in the world. also, studying Hinduism has helped me strive to be more non-judgemental and love the small part in everyone (even ifd it is hidden) that is a part of God. so i stand by all of that. i WOULD like to see them punished for what they HAVE done to Adia, though. i explained to the doctor at Lotus and he said it was not unusual here. he didn't seem too concerned which shocked me, i was hoping he would get ahold of authorities (in the States, i think doctors are obligated to do so).
do you really think it would be helpful to fill out a police report? i never tried it again because, well, to be honest i have no faith at this point in most Indian institutions. i've never really beeen able to get 'authorities' to do much of anything for me. [i was unable to get a police report after a robbery and assault] also, i don't even know if a police report would bring results, or they would just shove it in a drawer somewhere. if you think or have heard that it would be helpful though, i will by all means try it.
now, the important thing: Adia is doing very well!!! we got her labs back today and she tested negative for all diseases. her iron is low, there is something (i'm not quite sure what this means) wrong with her hemoglobin, and she is lactose intolerant. that could explain a lot of why she is so malnourished - the family gave her cow's milk when they gave her anything at all - that would cause diahrrea, which taxes her system further.
i spent most of the day with her and her three relatives (mum, grandmum, and youngest sister) - and i'm no longer so worried about them taking her away again! they were wary last night and i and the doctors had to coax them to let her stay, but it seems they've grown to rather like staying with her in the hospital - air con, teevee, nice plush beds, three meals....they'll probably stay as long as they can to enjoy those things! at least let us hope - maybe for once their greed will work FOR us instead of againt.
Adia's physical progress is astonishing. i cannot believe how well this dear girl responds to the slightest bit of treatment! she was able to sit with her spine erect today (she needs to be steadied, but that is still an immense improvement from before!) and her physical therepist has the nurse doing little 'sit-ups' with her; pulling her arms gently so she can try to raise herself to a sitting position. she does them eagerly and well! her overall aspect was much, much improved - even better than during her prior hospital visit. she is no longer listless - she could even work up a LOUD cry when the doctor gave her an X-ray!! it was the most beautiful cry i've ever heard, right next to the one when my daughter was born. it was a cry of hope.
i am entirely covinced that i have been guided to help Adia because she is meant to do something beautiful and important in the world - the way she has overcome so many things in her small life is nothing short of a miracle.
anyway, despite whatever has happened between us you have helped me somewhat by putting into my mind that i need to be very careful of keeping good records. despite what you believe - my intentions are only good and i don't want anything technical to mess up the work i try to do. when i co-headed the arts NGO, my partner at the time was wealthy - he had an accountant and a lawyer handle everything financial, and too there was much less accountability involved. so i was sort of behacing like i did then as far as records - jotting things downin a notebook and such, stupidly thinking that should suffice. when we become a real NGO, i wil have to keep MUCH better track. so thank you for making that clear to me.
trudy, i won't take up mroe of your time. i was mostly just writing to you because i felt like i had to defend myself because i was hurt. what you said attacked something so close to my heart - and already this has brought my life a great deal of stress. it felt like you were belittling what i have done and saying i was trying to do evil where i am giving everything i have (financially, spiritually, time-wise, etc) to do good. i guess i could not stand the idea that you would think that without trying to tell you what is true. it still does hurt me - but i guess i have to accept that you are entitled to your opinion.
may you and yours be well.
love,
nutmeg
trudy, i am not angry with you. i was....oh was i ever! but i found the ability to let it go. i am sorry if this morning i was short with you - i had just woken up to all of this and was tremendously shocked and hurt.
i understand that you feel differently about the family. our family is Anglican Catholic, and even though i do imagine that Adia's relatives may face repercussions from the Lord, i cannot judge or try to force that. it would only fill me with hatred if i wished it on them, and hatred and anger should never be a part of something that is supposed to bring good in the world. also, studying Hinduism has helped me strive to be more non-judgemental and love the small part in everyone (even ifd it is hidden) that is a part of God. so i stand by all of that. i WOULD like to see them punished for what they HAVE done to Adia, though. i explained to the doctor at Lotus and he said it was not unusual here. he didn't seem too concerned which shocked me, i was hoping he would get ahold of authorities (in the States, i think doctors are obligated to do so).
do you really think it would be helpful to fill out a police report? i never tried it again because, well, to be honest i have no faith at this point in most Indian institutions. i've never really beeen able to get 'authorities' to do much of anything for me. [i was unable to get a police report after a robbery and assault] also, i don't even know if a police report would bring results, or they would just shove it in a drawer somewhere. if you think or have heard that it would be helpful though, i will by all means try it.
now, the important thing: Adia is doing very well!!! we got her labs back today and she tested negative for all diseases. her iron is low, there is something (i'm not quite sure what this means) wrong with her hemoglobin, and she is lactose intolerant. that could explain a lot of why she is so malnourished - the family gave her cow's milk when they gave her anything at all - that would cause diahrrea, which taxes her system further.
i spent most of the day with her and her three relatives (mum, grandmum, and youngest sister) - and i'm no longer so worried about them taking her away again! they were wary last night and i and the doctors had to coax them to let her stay, but it seems they've grown to rather like staying with her in the hospital - air con, teevee, nice plush beds, three meals....they'll probably stay as long as they can to enjoy those things! at least let us hope - maybe for once their greed will work FOR us instead of againt.
Adia's physical progress is astonishing. i cannot believe how well this dear girl responds to the slightest bit of treatment! she was able to sit with her spine erect today (she needs to be steadied, but that is still an immense improvement from before!) and her physical therepist has the nurse doing little 'sit-ups' with her; pulling her arms gently so she can try to raise herself to a sitting position. she does them eagerly and well! her overall aspect was much, much improved - even better than during her prior hospital visit. she is no longer listless - she could even work up a LOUD cry when the doctor gave her an X-ray!! it was the most beautiful cry i've ever heard, right next to the one when my daughter was born. it was a cry of hope.
i am entirely covinced that i have been guided to help Adia because she is meant to do something beautiful and important in the world - the way she has overcome so many things in her small life is nothing short of a miracle.
anyway, despite whatever has happened between us you have helped me somewhat by putting into my mind that i need to be very careful of keeping good records. despite what you believe - my intentions are only good and i don't want anything technical to mess up the work i try to do. when i co-headed the arts NGO, my partner at the time was wealthy - he had an accountant and a lawyer handle everything financial, and too there was much less accountability involved. so i was sort of behacing like i did then as far as records - jotting things downin a notebook and such, stupidly thinking that should suffice. when we become a real NGO, i wil have to keep MUCH better track. so thank you for making that clear to me.
trudy, i won't take up mroe of your time. i was mostly just writing to you because i felt like i had to defend myself because i was hurt. what you said attacked something so close to my heart - and already this has brought my life a great deal of stress. it felt like you were belittling what i have done and saying i was trying to do evil where i am giving everything i have (financially, spiritually, time-wise, etc) to do good. i guess i could not stand the idea that you would think that without trying to tell you what is true. it still does hurt me - but i guess i have to accept that you are entitled to your opinion.
may you and yours be well.
love,
nutmeg
[trudy's last word before she began posting on a separate blog some weeks later]
Nutmeg...I have got to get up in 3 hrs. I know that you are tired. The last I talked to you you were saying that you were going to go to a private hospital. I have tried to explain that to you...I have talked to his wife and he is on his way home and he told his wife that he is not accepting my phone calls. I got him involved in something he didn't even want to be involved in and it cost him an absolute fortune staying behind and changing his flight.
I did attempt to explain everything and after I typed forever (it seems) it was closed. I don't know what to say...I am absolutely stymied. I have not stopped anyone. I have over 60 convos from people who just thought the same. He was my only connection and he has had it with me. No last name..filed under first name? He told his wife after reading threads and posts it was to unbelievable to get involved with it...I can not force him.. He is not taking any more phone calls and told his wife to do the same and he informed her that she is to delete all e mails...
You are right..You can not stop your support system. They have stuck by you and will be there until the end. I am going on a fishing trip tomorrow and will be away from my computer. People love you nutmeg...they will not stop because of this. If they continue with their rants about me it will only cause more attention to this...I am just telling you....
I am sorry about your personal life. Follow avenues that people are telling you to follow. No matter what I say it is not going to give you any satisfaction. If you won't go to the police again and talk to someone in charge and file a police report there is nothing that anyone can do.. I am a Christian and I hope the parents rot in hell. They need to be in jail and they need to be held accountable for this. If they are not then their behavior will just continue...
I just don't know what else you want me to say...I've tried so many times but we are just not communicating..
I have got to be done with this because I can not do anything at this point....now I have to shut my computer off!
Nutmeg...I have got to get up in 3 hrs. I know that you are tired. The last I talked to you you were saying that you were going to go to a private hospital. I have tried to explain that to you...I have talked to his wife and he is on his way home and he told his wife that he is not accepting my phone calls. I got him involved in something he didn't even want to be involved in and it cost him an absolute fortune staying behind and changing his flight.
I did attempt to explain everything and after I typed forever (it seems) it was closed. I don't know what to say...I am absolutely stymied. I have not stopped anyone. I have over 60 convos from people who just thought the same. He was my only connection and he has had it with me. No last name..filed under first name? He told his wife after reading threads and posts it was to unbelievable to get involved with it...I can not force him.. He is not taking any more phone calls and told his wife to do the same and he informed her that she is to delete all e mails...
You are right..You can not stop your support system. They have stuck by you and will be there until the end. I am going on a fishing trip tomorrow and will be away from my computer. People love you nutmeg...they will not stop because of this. If they continue with their rants about me it will only cause more attention to this...I am just telling you....
I am sorry about your personal life. Follow avenues that people are telling you to follow. No matter what I say it is not going to give you any satisfaction. If you won't go to the police again and talk to someone in charge and file a police report there is nothing that anyone can do.. I am a Christian and I hope the parents rot in hell. They need to be in jail and they need to be held accountable for this. If they are not then their behavior will just continue...
I just don't know what else you want me to say...I've tried so many times but we are just not communicating..
I have got to be done with this because I can not do anything at this point....now I have to shut my computer off!
[by nutmeg]
also i dont know if we're just having realy bad communication here but ...
i DID try to meet him. or whoever it was at the hospiatl. over and over again i asked when he wanted to meet and how.
i didnt care if they went to see Adia and fam - i just asked you to tell them not to come and TAKE HER AWAY so i couldnt see her yesterday. because i really wanted to see her.
i dont understand how you can jutify to yourself saying all this stuff about me when i was asking for help - and then just backing out! thats not graceful! really trudy i still would really ebenfit form knowing these resources you said you have! shes in the hospital but I CANNOT AFFORD TO KEEP HER THERE , maybe one more day and thats it! so i NEED to know these people you say you know!
sigh.......
also i dont know if we're just having realy bad communication here but ...
i DID try to meet him. or whoever it was at the hospiatl. over and over again i asked when he wanted to meet and how.
i didnt care if they went to see Adia and fam - i just asked you to tell them not to come and TAKE HER AWAY so i couldnt see her yesterday. because i really wanted to see her.
i dont understand how you can jutify to yourself saying all this stuff about me when i was asking for help - and then just backing out! thats not graceful! really trudy i still would really ebenfit form knowing these resources you said you have! shes in the hospital but I CANNOT AFFORD TO KEEP HER THERE , maybe one more day and thats it! so i NEED to know these people you say you know!
sigh.......
Nutmeg...I am exhausted and so are you...I have to go to bed. Please tell your supporters to quit smearing me. I have said my peace and am bowing out gracefully...
I will not mention this again unless I see my name or any reference to me. I had a gentleman all lined up , he was staying near the University and he asked that I be the go between because of his relationship. with the hospital and his excellent reputation in India..He did not want to give out his number, he just wanted to be a quiet presence.
He's upset with me because he wasted 2 days with this...He wanted to meet Adia and he wanted to meet you. He is just a nice man...His wife told me that he said that he will not get involved with any requests that I make of him again. He is absolutely livid. He is done...and I will be lucky if he ever speaks to me again. You wonder why I'm upset.
I live thousands of miles away...I was being nice to you to give you a heads up..not to scare you...about just getting your ducks in a row in case someone approaches you about the donation end of it (separate from the issue with the hospital) there are agencies out there that are checking very closely about internet fraud...I just wanted you to know that with the blogs, threads, twitter, face book, my space...whatever things like that does not go unnoticed! I was warning you and also telling you that I know that you are on the up and up...This has nothing to do with Adia's health..
This was a totally separate issue. I just wanted to caution you about this...People take this stuff very seriously and you know you have asked for donations.
Nutmeg...I was not being deceptive last night or the day before. I truly wanted to assist in anyway possible, but then when you didn't want to meet him, or let him observe family from a distance...They are letting this girl starve and are bleeding her for alms...I am not processing it.
Please call off your supporters. If they want to convo me they can. It is only hurting your cause...We can all agree to disagree...but the smearing must stop now!
I am done with it...as I said...I've got to get my life back..If you are doing what you are saying you are doing that is great...You have people who obviously love and believe in you...as I said I will not comment again until I see my name under attack.
My involvement is finished. You are hooked up with social services and Adia is in the hospital as you say. When I went on the forum today it was just for answers to questions. Goodnight. Trudy
I will not mention this again unless I see my name or any reference to me. I had a gentleman all lined up , he was staying near the University and he asked that I be the go between because of his relationship. with the hospital and his excellent reputation in India..He did not want to give out his number, he just wanted to be a quiet presence.
He's upset with me because he wasted 2 days with this...He wanted to meet Adia and he wanted to meet you. He is just a nice man...His wife told me that he said that he will not get involved with any requests that I make of him again. He is absolutely livid. He is done...and I will be lucky if he ever speaks to me again. You wonder why I'm upset.
I live thousands of miles away...I was being nice to you to give you a heads up..not to scare you...about just getting your ducks in a row in case someone approaches you about the donation end of it (separate from the issue with the hospital) there are agencies out there that are checking very closely about internet fraud...I just wanted you to know that with the blogs, threads, twitter, face book, my space...whatever things like that does not go unnoticed! I was warning you and also telling you that I know that you are on the up and up...This has nothing to do with Adia's health..
This was a totally separate issue. I just wanted to caution you about this...People take this stuff very seriously and you know you have asked for donations.
Nutmeg...I was not being deceptive last night or the day before. I truly wanted to assist in anyway possible, but then when you didn't want to meet him, or let him observe family from a distance...They are letting this girl starve and are bleeding her for alms...I am not processing it.
Please call off your supporters. If they want to convo me they can. It is only hurting your cause...We can all agree to disagree...but the smearing must stop now!
I am done with it...as I said...I've got to get my life back..If you are doing what you are saying you are doing that is great...You have people who obviously love and believe in you...as I said I will not comment again until I see my name under attack.
My involvement is finished. You are hooked up with social services and Adia is in the hospital as you say. When I went on the forum today it was just for answers to questions. Goodnight. Trudy
[more silence by trudy]
[by nutmeg]
i have to go now and see Adia.
the woman i talked to yesterday was (removed). at Niloufer, i remembered you mentioned Dr.(removed) and after trying to talk to almost everyone else in the building and they didn't know about me, i asked to talk to Dr.(removed). so i went to his office and talked to (removed) about everything. she had not heard of me. i also was asking her for any other options they could help me with and she said other than checking her in they didnt have any options for me!
you can call the hospital and ask abotu this. pelase, DO call and ask about this so you can see its on the up-and-up.
i have to go, remember it's a very different time zone and i wont be back for a while.
[by nutmeg]
i have to go now and see Adia.
the woman i talked to yesterday was (removed). at Niloufer, i remembered you mentioned Dr.(removed) and after trying to talk to almost everyone else in the building and they didn't know about me, i asked to talk to Dr.(removed). so i went to his office and talked to (removed) about everything. she had not heard of me. i also was asking her for any other options they could help me with and she said other than checking her in they didnt have any options for me!
you can call the hospital and ask abotu this. pelase, DO call and ask about this so you can see its on the up-and-up.
i have to go, remember it's a very different time zone and i wont be back for a while.
[by nutmeg]
trudy, i never asked younot to callk me? what did i say that gave you that impression? i am so sorry if i did and that is why all this happened. i said that it would be useless to call me until morning (remember it was the middle of the night here then) because we couldn't get minutes on our phone.
trudy canyou just call me now? i dont know if you will but please i feel it wouild be easier than this back and forth.
also - whati asked exactly was that you ask them not to come and take Adia away yesterday. i couldnt handle that if i never got to see her again! my husband was with me all day, he understands thick indian accents more than i do so he had to keep talking to everyone at Lotus for me.
this time at Lotus they just admitted her under 'jyothi'. honestly i dont know if she HAS a real last name! i found out her mother and father's first names and that's all.
trudy i tried to find these people at Niloufer! for more than an hour and then i had to leave because the grandmother weas getting impatient!
and yes, i still say and i stand by it that i dont want them to get in trouble becaus ei said something that was a rumour, if the rumour was not true. let them get in trouble because of what they HAVE done. otheriwise, its not justice. i am a student of hindu and buddhist philosophy and i have used everything in my soul to try not to hav anger against Adia's family. sometimes i fail, but.....please, undersdtand it the way i see it, these people had horrible lives troo. they were raised in fitlth, poverty, lies, and dishonesty, and are products of that. i hate what MADE them this way, not them. even though yes sometimes i do feel anger toward them too.
listen theres really abd communication here and i know i am scattered but that doesnt make me a faraud! if ytou only could know and understand what i am going threough here and how much i love adia. i broke down crying from joy last night when i was able to pay the bill, i was terrified that we would nto have enough in our savings box - and then the gransdmother didnt want to stay there with adia (an adult has to stay) and finally it all worked - i cannto say how happy i was. it was finally looking good, and now THIS! please trudy. dont do this without having actual reasons! to trell em id dint 'utilize my opportunity' to meet with someone is just cruel! i ewent to niloufer yeasterday even with migivings because i thought it might give me a chance to talk to someone who knew what was going on!
was that actually my only chance? cant you jsut TELL me who these peopel are and give me a contact numeber or something for an appointment? i WANT to talk to somemone who can helkp me help, dont you see that?
[further typo apologies!]
trudy, i never asked younot to callk me? what did i say that gave you that impression? i am so sorry if i did and that is why all this happened. i said that it would be useless to call me until morning (remember it was the middle of the night here then) because we couldn't get minutes on our phone.
trudy canyou just call me now? i dont know if you will but please i feel it wouild be easier than this back and forth.
also - whati asked exactly was that you ask them not to come and take Adia away yesterday. i couldnt handle that if i never got to see her again! my husband was with me all day, he understands thick indian accents more than i do so he had to keep talking to everyone at Lotus for me.
this time at Lotus they just admitted her under 'jyothi'. honestly i dont know if she HAS a real last name! i found out her mother and father's first names and that's all.
trudy i tried to find these people at Niloufer! for more than an hour and then i had to leave because the grandmother weas getting impatient!
and yes, i still say and i stand by it that i dont want them to get in trouble becaus ei said something that was a rumour, if the rumour was not true. let them get in trouble because of what they HAVE done. otheriwise, its not justice. i am a student of hindu and buddhist philosophy and i have used everything in my soul to try not to hav anger against Adia's family. sometimes i fail, but.....please, undersdtand it the way i see it, these people had horrible lives troo. they were raised in fitlth, poverty, lies, and dishonesty, and are products of that. i hate what MADE them this way, not them. even though yes sometimes i do feel anger toward them too.
listen theres really abd communication here and i know i am scattered but that doesnt make me a faraud! if ytou only could know and understand what i am going threough here and how much i love adia. i broke down crying from joy last night when i was able to pay the bill, i was terrified that we would nto have enough in our savings box - and then the gransdmother didnt want to stay there with adia (an adult has to stay) and finally it all worked - i cannto say how happy i was. it was finally looking good, and now THIS! please trudy. dont do this without having actual reasons! to trell em id dint 'utilize my opportunity' to meet with someone is just cruel! i ewent to niloufer yeasterday even with migivings because i thought it might give me a chance to talk to someone who knew what was going on!
was that actually my only chance? cant you jsut TELL me who these peopel are and give me a contact numeber or something for an appointment? i WANT to talk to somemone who can helkp me help, dont you see that?
[further typo apologies!]
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)